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vsparky
Posted: Thu, 04/02/2009 - 9:40am

Once again the female staff will be offering courses to men of all marital status. Class size will be limited to 10 as course material may prove difficult.

1. Combatting Stupidity 2. You Too Can Do Housework 3. P.M.S.-Learning When To Keep Your Mouth Shut 4. How To Refill An Ice Tray 5. How to Buy Appropriate Gifts 6. Understanding The Female Response To Coming In Drunk At 4 a.m. 7. How To Sort Laundry 8. Parenting - No, It Doesn't End With Conception 9. Cooking - There's More To It Than Microwave Burritos 10. How Not To Act Like An Asshole When You're Obviously Wrong 11. Spelling - Even You Can Get It Right 12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence 13. Men - The Weaker Sex 14. Good Reasons To Give Flowers 15. How To Stay Awake After Sex 16. Why It Is Unacceptable To Relieve Yourself Anywhere But The Bathroom 17. Garbage - Getting It To The Curb 18. Sex 101 - You Can Fall Asleep Without It If You Really Try and Sex 201 - The Morning Dilemma - If It's "Awake", Take A Shower 19. "Weekend" and "Sports" Are Not Synonyms 20. How To Put The Toilet Seat Down 21. How To Go Shopping With Your Mate And Not Get Lost 22. The Remote Control - Overcoming Your Dependency 23. Helpful Postural Hints For Couch Potatoes 24. How To Act Older Than Your Children 25. You, Too, Can Be A Designated Driver 26. No, You Really Don't Look Like Mel Gibson 27. Changing Underwear Made Easy 28. The Attainable Goal - Omitting "%" "#" and "&" From Your Vocabulary 29. Fluffing The Blankets After Farting Is Not Necessary 30. Realizing The Benefits Of Asking For Directions

Shortround
Addendum to curriculum
Posted: Tue, 04/07/2009 - 10:32am

In order to support equal classes for women we are offering:

1. How to close the toilet lid - It's up, shut up and close it. It's not that hard once you learn how.

2. How to spot the clothes that make you look fat - It's usually the two yards of cloth it took to cover your ass that causes it.

3. Basic food groups - Beer, brats, pork steaks, buffalo wings

4. What he really wants - Beer, sex, guns, sex, cars, sex, oral sex, sex

5. Say it with silence - It's the real reason men like blow jobs, 5 minutes of her not talking

6. Shopping - How to go into a store and buy the thing you went to get in 5 minutes or less without buying another pair of shoes.

7. Shopping cart control - How to park at the side of the aisle instead of crossways in the middle.

8. Parking - What those white lines on the asphault mean and how to use them.

 New classes are being added all the time so check back!

 



sparky8811
Preposterous
Posted: Wed, 04/08/2009 - 9:13am

  I will respond in order sparky wanna be!

1. an erection is the answer, all stupidity ends when I get laid.

2. I married a WOMAN so I won't have to do that. 

3. If you have P.M.S. you better keep your mouth shut as that's the only sex I'm getting right now, and, I may take advantage of the opportunity.

4. Icemaker 

5. If you need a vacuum, you get a vacuum.

6. Nothing to understand just stop at wal-mart on way home, and, act like you just got up to run an errand.

7. Laundry? again, I married a WOMAN....

8. The fun part did.

9. If it can't be bar-b-cued it ought not be cooked at all! 

10. Me vs. Female, I AM NEVER ONE WRONG here.

11. Spelling? who needs it....LOL...O.M.G. ... W.T.F. ...BRB 

12. I pay the bills, own house and, 5 cars, own co. define incompetence.                                                                      

13. The might of atlas lives within the penis.

14. Flowers die, that new vacuum will last for years. 

15. If I am satisfied I see no reason not to go to sleep.

16. Pure jealousy, that it is more difficult without a penis.

17. $20 extra a month, and the trashman does it for me!

18. NO I CAN'T ... if IT is awake IT must be played with, do your JOB.

 19. Since when???

20. If I put it down doesn't that make it harder for HER to clean it when I pee on it??? 

21. I do not shop, I sometimes go to a store to buy something I need, then I leave, I do not wander aimlessly searching for something unbeknownst to me simply to spend $$$$.

22. I can live without the remote, I have a WIFE and KIDS!

23. Sign me up.

24. When I smack'em everyone knows I'm the adult.

25. Where's the FUN in that???

26. I'm told Paul McCartney, or, Rick Springfield, Mel is a midget.

27. Commando.

28. No problem can be solved without % vs. % decision, ... insanity

29. Yes it is, do you know what that stuff will do to a blanket if left pent up??? 

30. I have a map for that.

       

  You have far too many complaints to be involved with a real man. Maybe you should leave the San Francisco poker pub region and move to where the men are men, and, the sheep are scared, like Kansas City!     

P.S. Rick, O.M.G. I didn't know you had all that in you, I'm still laughing, MORE, MORE! 

    The REAL Sparky eights-n-acesÂ